Sharted

Since my last blog numerous things have happened in my life, i would hazard a guess of somewhere in the region of 9-17 things happening. One of the things that happened is my recent purchase of scales. No, i didn't purchase small rigid plates that grows out of an animal's skin to provide protection and neither did i buy a measurement of the amount of seismic energy released by an earthquake. I bought weighing scales. It weighs shit down to 0.01 grams. I bought it so i could weigh shit. I was fed up wondering how much things weighed. For this reason, my brother called me autistic but to him i say 'A skittle weighs 1 gram' (in a repetitive and impaired way)'

A PEG WEIGHS 4.59g.

Last night i went out for a night on the town with my pals McLean and Greg. Ended up being a cataclysmicly messy night of obsesive drinking, fag smoking, shit dancing, greg pooing, straw spinning, getting started on and strangled yet again, matt smith, fit ladies, wankers, lettuce throwing, ren and stimpy, weird girl dancing, james omar daley.

One of the best happenings of late was when my flat mate (and now pure legend) Conor brought back shit loads of sugary, fatty treats from Marks & Spencer which he had acquired for free. Above you can see my cake inspired collage courtesy of my artistic (not autistic) alter ego, Tred.

I have rediscovered playing football again and only a few days ago myself and mclean played football with a swarm of prebubescent arabians. I won via the 'next goal wins' rule.

Also, i am not as hopeful of England winning the world cup in the summer due to the fact i played as them on Fifa and lost.

Happy trails. x