Wednesday 10 October 2012

Lactose Intolerance

My blogging service provider, Eblogger, gives me analytics such as how many people view my blog.  The number doesn't shift much, it's mainly you occasionally looking at it every so often in a blue moon on a gap year whilst sewing wings on little oinklets whilst reciting the 37 proverbs of Wengal McSummary.  The idea behind these blogs have been to create something completely of its own ilk. I want it to be that little bit of oregano floating in your otherwise tomatoey tasting italian dish which you learned from Jamie Oliver, but with swearing in it. The oregano is swear words. Arse piss.

 Sainsburys are mates with Jamie Oliver.  D'ya reckon he gives a shit about healthy food or just about having Jamie endorsed chain restaurants? I wonder if those restaurants use Sainsbury food coz Jamie likes Sainsbury's loads, or whether he doesn't care or know what goes in the food at all. Does he care about school dinners, or is he once again the face or the ambassador for another annoying campaign? Having been served food during the Jamie Oliver spear-headed school food initiatives, let me tell you it was fucking dire!    As a genuine school goer whose one solace in an entire day of Victorian style school teaching was lunch time, to have something with sugar or calories taken from you and instead replaced by expensive cardboard tasting items, was depressing.  This campaign was, (in corresponding terms of schoolboy propensity's),  what Maggie Thatcher was to the Mining Industries. It felt shit. We knew the government didn't want us to eat Turkey Twizzlers, but that made this novelty meat all the more alluring, and made the government seem like dicks. If the government wanted future votes, all Tony Blair had to do was feed us a shit load of mechanically removed meats or sprinkled doughnuts and we would be feverishly voting for Labour and licking its would be sticky iced bun fingers. Instead David Cameron is lapping up all the milk which should be packaged in cartons and drunk by school kids. The conservative party won't serve kids milk because Maggie took the milk away in the first place, and the liberals will only suck the teet of the conservatives to get their milk coz they like the taste.

And apparently the dairy producers are losing money because supermarkets aren't paying them enough per pint... how long until milk is imported to the UK from foreign lands? I think i'm a bit lactose intolerant so i say fuck to all of it, im sick of weening from teets, im going to drink water coz its neutral. I might buy a bottle of water for whatever ridiculous price they now cost just so the bottle ruins the earths atmosphere and kills hummingbirds and bottle nose dolphins and eventually eradicates the human race... that way i wouldn't have problems drinking milk and being school tardy.

fuck off

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