Hello again avid readers. This post on my blog is going to start with a quick moan about the sweets known as 'Love Hearts'. When i eat 'Love Hearts' i tend to have a whale of a time, not only do they taste like love, they have soppy love messages on them which make them that extra bit exciting as you never know what is going to be written on the next one you munch on. So imagine my horror when i prized a love heart out of the packet and it had 'Granny P' embossed on it. Now i dont know about you, but i think putting the name of someones (dead?) Granny on a sweet is weird and whilst eating the sweet, i did not taste the fizzy, sugary sweetness... i tasted granny skin... like leather soaked in tea. Maybe companies think nans are a good selling point. Shreddies decided that it would be a good idea to have fetid old woman to knit their cereal. Again, i dont know about you but i do not want to hold the connotation between old, senile people that shit themselves with such a tasty whole wheat cereal.

Lately I've eaten a lot. Just yesterday i went for free chinese at 'Mint Casino'. The buffet starts at midnight and i guess they think you'll spend more time and money there if youve eaten succulent chinese delicacies...but bollocks to that; i'm not lining the pockets of scabby casino owners.... instead I line my stomach with greasy food stuffs. It was quite funny that the frumpy chinese 'Manager' was parrolling the area we were sitting at. She knew our ploy, and told us to wait at the end of the queue after the regulars. She then stood behind the end serving tray when it was our turn to recieve free food. After recieving decent portions of rice, noodle, sushi and spring roll i then shuffled to the last stop on this magical (free) journey. It was pork. I thought to myself 'Awh i fuckin well want that!'. The bitch didn't offer me any. I lifted my plate, indicating i wanted some. She then scooped the tiniest morsel of pork, with a drop of sauce and plopped it onto my plate. I looked at her in a 'what the fuck is that for an amount of meat?' way, and she then said 'thats enough, see if you like'. What? Its definitely not enough and i tend to 'see if i like' something via eating lots of it. still, it was all pretty god damn tasty and we all left the casino with th satisfaction that we had not paid any money, although i was somehow still hungry so had some cornflakes as a night cap.

At the weekend i was back home in Braintree. I saw my friends which was great and then saw loads of people that i had forgotten about. Spoons and Barracudas are like looking through old class photographs from primary school but unlike photographs, you can smell the people.

Tonight i went to Ikea with Alex. I ended up buying what i believe to be a dishwasher cover. Its a big sheet of stainless steel wrapped around mdf. I bought it because it was £7.50 in the 'bargain corner' of the store and i am planning to spray paint a stencil onto it. I feel like a bit of a dick for wasting money, but then again Alex bought scented candles.
We then went to Maxim Casino. I didn't bet because i'm not a mug. (although i did put a £1 on a 7 fold at Coral earlier). Alex left with the same amount of money as what he came there with, which is actually a decent achievement. I guessed two numbers correctly in a row at the roulette table which freaked myself and everyone out.

Im going to drink lots of coffee now because i have some milk. Might watch Rat Race too. Have only ever seen it once. laughed at it.






hesp.

'Cubehead Drills Wall'

A photograph i took on my mobile phone.




fushtal.

Yesterday i went to see Fightstar...I'm not the biggest Fightstar fan but occasionally delve into their music. I'd say a good analogy of where i stand with Fightstar is much like a cat that does a shit in the corner of your room; the cat knows what he is doing is wrong and is going to annoy people within his vicinity, yet he cant help it, he feels the urge and once he has done it he is relieved, but left feeling slightly guilty. Anyhoo... it was quite a good gig and i thoroughly enjoyed throwing my body around as if i was a bowling ball, knocking down scrawny, greasy haired pins. The bars were for some reason never busy, so Mclean and I indulged in a few yeasty beverages; 2 of which Mclean completely spilt - one straight onto his own groin and the other straight to the floor (somehow hitting it out of his own hand). Fuckin stupid. He was annoyed. I laughed and then got annoyed just imagining how annoying that must have been).

Got pretty ratty on the way home due to the train taking about 47687t56q384 Bremnars to get home. Once home i indulged myself via a pack of sliced roast chicken breast I had bought earlier in the day and had forgot to put in the fridge, therefore had to eat loads of it before it went putrid and shitty.

Bed.

The next morning i went to the toilet to rid myself of ordure, only to find that chocolate cake had been smeared onto the toilet seat and walls. It looked remarkably like poo but the smell was undeniably cakey. I was genuinely really annoyed as it was early morning and i just wanted to drop the kids off at the pool, yet the toilet seat was covered with imitation defecation. Later on at Uni i thought back to the childish scenario of smearing fake poo and found the whole incident hilarious!

Once again, thank you for reading this balsamic sack of piss...although i believe the accepted vernacular for these things are 'Blogs'.